On Valentine’s Day, a Trans woman from the US shares her story

I think it was one of the other Trans women at my support group who gave me the link for MyTransgenderCupid a few days before February 14th, Valentine’s Day. I remember her saying that she had used the site and found it was perfect for dating men who like Trans women. Valentine’s Day is a big thing in the US, the time when you do your best to find a new admirer or lover and build a relationship. After all, it’s the most romantic day of the year.

There are five other Transgender women in my support group and three of them are already in long-term relationships with genuine, caring men. They also started dating by using specialized online Trans dating sites. In fact, one of them met her fiancé last Valentine’s Day. 

Growing up as a Trans woman 

Anyway, I’m Michelle, am now 23 and currently live in a fairly large city in the northeast corner of the US. Like other women, I’m a romantic and hope to find my dream man. If it can be on Valentine’s Day, that will be perfect.

Looking back, I’ve always known that I was different, think Trans, just could not always put it into words. When I was younger, I didn’t know about such things as being Transgender or about T-girls or being gay or lesbian. In my relatively small town, there was not such widespread awareness or knowledge about T-girls or people who were not homogenous like the others. As with many places in the US, outside of the larger cities, society is very conservative with a lot of outdated religious dogma in place to cower and control the general populace. Sadly, many people are brought up to believe that being different is a sin. Tolerance and acceptance of minorities such as Trans women is fairly low.

Trans woman tells about her life journey

But I survived. My journey began when I started with puberty blockers when I was in my early teens. I subsequently strictly followed a regime of taking female hormones such as estrogen and two others, which all had different effects on my body. My hips became shapelier and I had some breast growth. By the time I was 17 I was living full-time as a female. Going to College in a new State enable me to do this as no-one from my former “life” was there to identify me.

I remember feeling quite left out on Valentine’s Day when I was at College. I didn’t want to send Valentine’s Day card or flowers to a man I liked for fear that he would still see me as a “man”. I’d not had any surgeries at that time.

After graduation as a fully qualified pharmacist, I moved to a bigger, more anonymous city. With my first few paycheques I did something I’d been waiting to do for years. I had breast implants or breast enhancement surgery.

The idea of finding a genuine man to date was always with me from my late teens. I am a woman after all and, at the top of my list, all I really want is a handsome, loving life partner. Once I started work, I often received cards and maybe flowers from men on Valentine’s Day but these relationships never really got started.

Therefore, I took my time before deciding to date. I made sure my transition was complete and my recovery from the surgeries complete. It takes time both physically and mentally for the scars to heal. Don’t forget the journey starts well before any surgery, even in childhood. I remember once I was diagnosed as Transgender at the age of 14, all I could think about for the next 9 years was getting my body to match my mind.

The only question I have to resolve is: what is the best way for a Trans woman like me to date? How does one find a genuine man to date and build a long-term relationship with? Particularly in the US, safety and security for Trans women are paramount, especially as, over the last 3-4 years a lot of the legislative protection afforded Trans women have been withdrawn. You only have to think about the ban on Trans people serving in the military.

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The more I think about it, the more, I realize that one really good thing is that sites such as MyTransgenderCupid only cater to Trans women and the men who wish to date them. This takes away a lot of the chances of misunderstandings about one’s gender or intentions. After all, the men wouldn’t be using the site if they weren’t looking for a T-girl. And there are great promotions on special days such as Valentine’s Day to look forward to. It would be nice to have a genuine man contact me and send me a “gift” or two on this day of romance.

There are many other positives that I can see about being a member of MyTransgenderCupid, not least of which is that it really works. The fact that three of my friends from my support group have found love that way is proof enough for me.

Okay that’s it. Decision made. Let me sign up now, and see if I can find the love of my life in time for this year’s Valentine’s Day!