Perhaps almost every trans woman has been dealing with the situation when the man she dates with making some awkward questions or saying some embarrassing things or just acting ignorant in certain way. Some people would say that dating transgender folks demand special treatment for themselves, but let’s be honest, we all try to be nice and polite meeting other people. So why do some men forget about their manners approaching to transgender women?
Here are few simple rules just to keep in mind.. and hey, they are not such strict! No more strict than when you say flattering phrases trying to impress a cisgender girl.
1. Do not call them “tranny”, “transgender” is always okay to refer
It’s an offensive rude slang basically used in the LGBT community sometimes as a joke, but never in respectful way.
2. Give them the same amount of respect as you would treat any cisgender girl
Most of the guys can be real gentlemen towards trans lady – they open the door before she walks and ask about her interests – but unfortunately, all this happens until they learn that she’s trans. Then a conversation switches from “What place would you visit next time?” to “So what are your preferences in bed?” This approach doesn’t cause any feelings except frustration and disappointment. People need to make out that trans women are worth a real love and meaningful relationship.
3. Most of them didn’t write a thesis about gender identity
Pretty often people meeting a transgender person firmly believe they talk with an expert of trans issues. They see fit to ask about that person’s viewpoint of the worldwide treatment to trans women and how they find the way to solve this problem. Well, it’s normal to ask such questions if your girl is a gender studies teacher. Otherwise she has nothing to do with that. If you need more information about trans issues just “google it” – there are lots of articles on this topic.
4. Take an interest in their family instead of their sexual skills
Some girls would find such topic sensitive and touchy especially if their family wasn’t supportive to them. Others which family reacted to their transition with understanding and encouragement would willingly share their story. In any case, touching on this topic you would show how actual and genuine your interest to that girl.
5. Avoid asking about their surgeries
It’s her own right and decision to tell you if her breasts are implants or grown due to hormones. Really, is that important to know if she looks so charming and attractive? Just relax! She will tell you when she will feel comfortable to speak frankly about this subject.
6. Do ask about their passion
One more comfy and relaxed topic to make an easy going conversation is hobbies. Any person is ready to talk during hours about things making their soul happy. Plus it’s a none-gender related subject that will get you more in tune with trans girl!
Well, now you know few things that you would better too talk and what better to skip talking in any case. Give a look also at MyTransgenderCupid to try out our advices on practice. And don’t forget about next part of transgender dating tips coming out soon!