Would a straight man date a Trans woman?

You only have to look through the profiles of men on MyTransgenderCupid to know that there are wide variety of men who are prepared to date a Trans woman. Most men do not declare their sexuality in their profiles which is fine. Why? Well, in reality, it has nothing to do with society in general. Indeed, if a man wants to date a Transgender woman it is his own personal choice. What sexual activities two consenting adults get up to when they are in bed, and who they make love with is really of no concern to anyone but the two adults.

This leads nicely on to the question: what does being “straight” really mean? Most people now appreciate that gender is a spectrum. There is no absolute hetero-sexual and no absolute non-hetero. If you think about it this makes perfect sense. All of us are born with input from our mothers and our fathers. We inherit different features, mannerisms and behavioral traits from both of them—and in different degrees. So, we must all also inherit some male genes and some female genes.

Both Trans women and men who date them have some male and female traits

The end result? Every female in the world has some maleness in them, just as every male has female aspects to their personas. These gender characteristics are interminably linked to, but not the same as, a person’s sexuality.

So, to recap, in terms of gender, on one end of the spectrum there is 100% male and the other 100% female. But as you move away from the ends of the spectrum you may find, let’s say, many others who are 80% male but with 20% female characteristics. These ratios carry on until you end up with someone who may be 50/50 male/female!

Then, when we turn to sexuality, we all know that that we have hetero men who prefer women only (can we call them “straight” for now?). Yet we also have men who are comfortable having sex with either a woman or a man (bisexual) or men who only like making love with men (gay). Let’s leave the sexuality of women out of this for now…

Back to what is a “straight” man… the answer to the question posed above is clearly complicated by Transgender women.

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So many variations when we consider T-girls and the men who love them

Let’s use an example of a man who only wants to date and have sex with women and who sees a Trans woman as just that, a woman. If the T-girl is post-op and is physically and mentally a woman, it’s hard to say that the man is anything but straight.

As a second example, another man dates and sleeps with a Transgender woman who is pre-op (ie she may have had breast implants but still has a “non-working” penis, but is unable or unwilling to get an erection and use her organ for sexual purposes). It is again hard to say that the man is anything other than straight as the T-girl detests her penis and will not use if for sexual purposes. She sees herself as just a woman, albeit with an added appendage.  

A final example is where a man dates a Transgender woman and they have sex, but the T-girl is pre-op and has a fully functioning, working penis. You might ask, does the relationship status change from male to female (straight) to male to T-girl (non-straight)?

In fact, there are even more complications to throw into the mix! Transgender women themselves are not homogenous. As mentioned above, some T-girls may be pre-op, some post-op (ie with or without penises). Some with penises may detest them but are unwilling (spiritual or religious reasons) or unable (cost or medical reasons) to have them removed. Other will have had breast implants but some will only have small hormone-induced breasts which may be no bigger than those of some men.

Some Trans women enjoy sex with men only, some with men and women. Some adopt a female posture in the sex act; especially if they are post-op. Some pre-op T-girls can be “top” or “bottom” and may choose to use or not use their penises to give enjoyment to their partners. The permutations are almost endless!

Finally: Transgender woman and “straight” men

In short, in matters of Transgender women and so-called hetero men, issues relating to gender and sexuality blur quite dramatically. Most men who date and enjoy sexual relations with Trans women will maintain that they are categorically not gay. They will reaffirm their overwhelming belief that they are dating a woman, albeit with some differences to genetic females.

Such men will point out the beauty and femininity of Transgender women. They may add that T-girls often have a higher, longer-lasting sex drive than natural women. Or that they really know what turns a man on. Of course, the final advantage if sex is the topic of discussion is that Trans women cannot get pregnant so now need for men to use de-sensitizing contraceptives such as condoms! There are, of course, many more advantages of T-girls but these are the most commonly espoused!

The conclusion: yes, indeed, most “straight” men will happily date one the of the T-girl beauties listed on MyTransgenderCupid. The only real problem, though is to accurately define what does “straight” really mean!