My Transgender Cupid

The myths about dating Transgender women

Even for those Trans-attracted men who are members of MyTransgenderCupid, and looking to date a Transgender woman, sometimes things can get a little confusing.

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There are so many misconceptions and misunderstandings about dating Trans women, it’s easy to get carried away with the hype.

Naturally, if you are looking to date a Trans woman, you want to know as much of the truth as you can. No place here for “fake news”! So, let’s try and debunk some of the more common myths about Transgender women before you attempt to date one. Or even if you do know most things about T-girls, treat this as a sort of refresher course…

Dating Transgender women need an in-depth understanding of Trans issues

Let’s start at the beginning. You’ve made your mind up to date a Transgender woman, as you have been charmed by her beauty and femininity. Not only is she physically attractive but very likely well educated. Dating a Transgender woman is, therefore, the dream of many foreign men.

But if you are serious about dating and enjoying a long-term relationship with a Trans woman, go beyond what you see in front of you! Try and understand some of the trials and tribulations Transgender women go through. Some due to external factors, but some due to the emotional effects of living “in the wrong body” and then trying to correct this as best you can.

To which minority in society do Trans women “belong”?

Grossly misunderstood by the public or general society at large and even sometimes by themselves Transgender women have long been in a ‘’ marriage of convenience” with the LGB community as part of the widely used “LGBT” acronym. This acronym has grown over the years and now includes QI (queer and intersex), plus several other initials! In the ongoing fight for their basic rights, it’s been easier for Trans women to have aligned themselves with their more visible, vociferous Lesbian and Gay colleagues rather than try and go it alone.

Yet, as much as this has been a great help at times with advancing the ‘’Trans cause”, it’s also been a “double-edged sword” and numerous myths surrounding Trans people abound… some of which include those shown below (and need to be well and truly put to rest…).

Transgender women want to date, just like other women

Myth 1: being Trans is a lifestyle choice: err…, no it’s not! Trans women want to date and get married or enjoy a long-term relationship just like genetic women. They definitely don’t go through all the pain of the numerous operations, all the fear of being attacked (it still happens!) or all the discrimination and prejudice they suffer simply to be able to live (simplistically) in the clothes of the opposite gender.

Nor is being Transgender a mental illness which, until fairly recently, many first world (and other) governments and military establishments classified it as, or a psychological disorder. Even in Thailand, the so-called home of the Trans woman, this was the case!

Being Trans is as much inbuilt into a person as being gay; Transgender women are born not created. The overdone cliché of being “born in the wrong body” rings absolutely true. Female mind, but male looking body (before correction)

Myth 2: being Transgender is to do with sexual orientation: another emphatic “No, it’s not!” It is a question of gender, not sexual preference. The whole set up of Trans women is female, that is their gender. Almost all male to female (M to F) Trans women see themselves simply as women and, accordingly, prefer men… and do so pre- or post-transition. Of course, there are exceptions and some Transgender women prefer having sex with women but, again, importantly, we are talking mainly about gender expression not sexuality.

Evolution of Transgender women
Evolution of Transgender women

Trans women are not homogenous

Myth 3: to be Transgender you have to have completed all “necessary” surgeries: No, not true! Oh dear…, this is beginning to sound like an article of “No’s” but it’s best to clear up some of these myths.

Whilst many Trans women wish to have full corrective surgery—commonly known as “top” and “bottom” surgeries (breast implants for M to F plus genital reassignment—removal of a penis)—almost equally as many T-girls only do one or the other… or none at all. As long as the person’s overall physical appearance, in the mind of the Transgender woman in question, matches the brain gender then, in some cases, no surgery may be undertaken.

Myth 4: drag queens are Trans people: those actors or actresses who parody, often in quite excessively exaggerated ways, persons of the opposite gender for entertainment purposes are almost certainly not Transgender people. Of course, it’s not possible to know for sure but, probably, 90+% are not… a large % are gay, but an equally large % simply treat their role-play as just a profession.

With human diversity being as colorful as the rainbow emblems which represents the LGBT minorities, no “one size fits all” when describing Trans women. The myriad of T-girls on MyTransgenderCupid is testament to this. However, Trans women do seem to be the subject of more myths than most others sheltering under the LGBT flag!

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