Recently, I saw a question on MyTransgenderCupid from one of its members about dating Transgender women.
It read: "What are the main similarities or differences with regard to dating Transgender women compared to genetic women?" Quite a fair question, although if you’ve never tried dating a Trans woman, perhaps the best answer is to try and see!
Still, that’s not always practical, so, as someone who has dated both genetic and Transgender women, I thought I should try to provide some answers. Mind you it's not so easy to draw comparisons given that there are millions of both genetic and Trans women in this world. And, obviously, no two women are exactly alike! Therefore, what I am about to say about dating a Transgender or genetic woman is going to be some of my general thoughts.
However, to really find out for yourself, I’d really encourage you to look through some of the profiles of beautiful Trans women on MyTransgenderCupid and take it from there. After all, I assume you wouldn’t be looking at this site and reading this if you weren’t interested in TS dating !
Anyway, let me give it a go;
Similarities in dating Transgender and genetic women
In no particular order, first, an obvious one: both genetic women and Trans women are just that… women. Transgender women may not always fit the (physical) image of what a typical woman looks like (whatever that is). But, fundamentally, emotionally and in terms of overall behaviour and presentation, they are women.
They like to be “taken care of” by a man; bought gifts, told they are beautiful and so on. In return they will look after a man they are in a relationship with in a loving, caring way. Trans women value stability and a long-term relationship. Many are looking for a good career as are relatively highly qualified, with Bachelor or Master’s degrees. Without the distraction of having to raise a family (also see comment below), many Transgender women are very career-oriented.
Both genetic women and Trans women can have highs and lows in terms of mood. Genetic women with their monthly cycles; Transgender women mainly due to their ingestion of female hormones.
Coming back to physical appearance, you have small, big, short and tall genetic women. You also have the same types of Transgender women. Whether a Trans woman has had breast implants and genital reassignment surgery or not, it is very difficult, if not impossible to tell the difference if you were to stand a Trans woman and genetic woman side by side (fully clothed). Even without clothes it can be hard to tell the difference, unless, of course, the Transgender woman has not had the requisite surgical procedures.
All women, no matter where they live in the world face big challenges. Bias, repression and discrimination, both in everyday life, or at home, or in the workplace. For genetic women, think, for example the limitation on women’s education or freedom of movement in places such as the Middle East, Africa or Afghanistan. Domestic violence is also a major issue.
Trans women too suffer bias and discrimination. This may relate to getting a job or health care benefits or when trying to get a place to live. Or which public bathroom to use. In some ways it can be argued that Transgender women face greater life-challenges. They not only have to deal with the surgeries and hormone treatments, but the journey to gain acceptance from general society is never ending. But, to me at least, this is counterbalanced by the various challenges genetic women also face.
To summarise: there are many similarities in dating Transgender and/or genetic women!
Differences in dating Transgender and genetic women
Following on from the above, in reality there are very few differences between dating Transgender women and genetic women. Sure, a Trans woman may have been born with an extra body part but, if she chooses, this can be corrected with surgery. On the other hand, this “point of difference” is what attracts many Trans-oriented men. It adds something slightly different to the relationship. Or a Transgender woman may have already had breast implants and her penis removed before you met her, in which case you’d never know that’s she had been physically different.
Another, more contentious, point is that detractors of Transgender women, particularly some of the more radical feminists, often cry: “Transgender women can’t have babies.” Whilst this is true, there are lots of genetic women, who for one reason of another cannot either. Being able to breed does not define a woman.
So, are you ready to date a Transgender woman?
I think it’s fair to say that most men who date Trans women from MyTransgenderCupid
have dated genetic women previously. I’d be interested to have some feedback on this article and hear your opinions on the similarities and differences you have found… if any.