Most of the Transgender women who join MyTransgenderCupid follow a similar pattern in their lives. From an early age they know they are different from others who are born with male genitalia but don’t always know why.
It takes time to work out the reason for these feelings. Yet, gradually things become clearer. There is no set age when the “mist” clears and the young child realizes that “he” is a Trans person and should have been born a “she”. And there are many times of self-doubt, uncertainty and confusion during their journey.
Transgender women really need family support
It always helps if a T-girl has the support and understanding of her immediate family. Yet, in the older days before there was much greater awareness about all things Transgender, this did not always happen. Being criticized or ostracised by ones’ family for simply being Trans is counter-productive. It does more harm than good, especially as it is now widely accepted that being Transgender is in-built into the genetic make-up of a person.
Being Trans cannot be changed no matter what. It is also not a character flaw or defect but something that is a combination of genetics and the way our bodies are “hard-wired”. In other words, how we think, behave and/or our outlook on life. None of these last points are shaped by the environment Trans people live in. They are inherent, in-built.
There is also no single step or process or procedure for any person who realizes they are Trans to achieve their goal of living and being recognized by society in general as a young woman or woman. It is a series of steps on what can be a very long, never-ending journey.
The journeys of Transgender women are remarkably similar
Yet, as mentioned earlier, most Trans journeys are really quite similar. Let’s look at the first few, typical stages a Trans woman will go through. This has a primary focus on the steps they take to achieve their goals:
- feelings of being different to other so-called boys, preferring to play with girls and do more feminine things;
- dressing up in girl’s clothes and being more comfortable when presenting as female;
- thinking they may be gay as they have some attraction to men;
- if their family is supportive, many Transgender women will consult specialist doctors and therapists who may prescribe “puberty blockers” for a pre-pubescent child. These simply delay the onset of puberty to give the child and their parents more time to work out if it a phase the child is going through. Or are they really Trans?
- such puberty blockers prevent voices from breaking, Adam’s apples developing and facial hair appearing in T-girls who were born with male genitalia. In female to male Trans people they will delay breasts growth and menstruation;
- some Trans women in Thailand or The Philippines will begin to self-medicate with birth control pills from around the ages of 13 or 14. They take them for their estrogen content. These soften skin and stimulate hair and breast growth;
- most doctors do not recommend this and, certainly outside of Asia, taking female hormones or beginning HRT is far more regulated. There are also minimum ages for Trans women to start such medication. This also has to be approved by qualified specialists and the T-girl’s parents;
- taking female hormones have much the same effects as taking birth control pills, with skin becoming softer, hair longer and healthier and, most important to all Trans women, enhanced breast growth;
- for those T-girls who follow a supervised course of medication, there are normally three types of female hormones to be taken. The purpose and effects differ. One is to reduce the level of natural testosterone in the body and another is to increase the estrogen levels. It is not always necessary to take all three and dosages can vary over time. However, the important thing is to have this regime of medication properly supervised;
- one thing many people do not realize is that taking female hormones is for life. Transgender women must do this every day or every week. Some say the complete range of long-term side effects are not known but this can, of course, vary from woman to woman;
As well as the medications there is the cosmetic side
- in addition to taking hormones, as soon as possible most Trans women aspire to have some cosmetic surgery. In the case of many non-Asian T-girls this is often called feminine facial surgery or “FFS”. This may be more invasive and radical than that endured by Ladyboys or Trans-pinay who may already have relatively feminine features. For non-Asians, FFS can include shaving the brow arches above the eyes, restructuring noses, shaving Adam’s apples, reshaping chins and cheeks and so on. Yes, Asian T-girls will need to do some of these cosmetic procedures but, usually, not as extensively;
- finally, in this stage of the T-girls surgery, she will almost certainly want breast enhancement surgery. Breast growth due to taking hormones is invariably not enough and so most Transgender women will have B or C cup silicone-gel implants—above or below the chest muscle as desired.
Hopefully, after reading this, you will get a better understanding of the journeys of many of the T-girls on MyTransgenderCupid. There may be some variations but most Trans journeys are very similar!