My Transgender Cupid

Transgender women journey to becoming a full woman

In an earlier article, we talked about how many of the Transgender women listed on MyTransgenderCupid are on a long medical journey

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From pre-puberty when they first knew they were different from when they realized they were Trans women. Then, from such realization and the steps they start to take to make themselves more feminine and attractive.

The overall journey to “complete” womanhood is long and challenging and involves regular medication and several surgeries. Most are very painful and uncomfortable so don’t let anyone ever tell you being Trans is a lifestyle choice. The pain and prejudices associated with being a Transgender woman are significant.

Last time we covered the first few stages of a Trans woman’s journey up to the time when T-girls usually have breast augmentation surgery.

The last step for many, but not all, Transgender women is to have their genitals changed to align with their minds. They have gender confirmation or gender affirmation surgery. This involves the removal of the penis and testicles and the creation of a vagina. The Transgender women is then complete and her mind and body in alignment. This is the goal she may well have been aiming for some 10, 15 or more years!

Not all Transgender women have the same surgeries

However, not all Trans women have this surgery though. Some T-girls are content with or do not dislike their penis, and actually may use it in sex play. Some Trans women, however, have a different operation which just entails removal of the testicles (orchidectomy) which thereby reduces or eliminates the natural production of testosterone. In turn, this helps enhance the effects of taking female hormones and eliminates the need to take certain hormones completely.

For those Trans women who decide to undertake the operation to remove their penis and create a vagina, there are a number of challenges to face and consideration to contemplate both pre- and post-operation. These include:

  • it’s well known that Transgender women are emotionally and mentally female. The taking of female hormones can accentuate their behavior. In any event, the period leading up to the operation for gender reassignment is very stressful. Partly due to the fear of the operation itself which is complicated and also irreversible. But partly due to the fear of the unknown. Contemplating life after the operation can be highly fraught and many T-girls worry about job security (if they have a job) and overall acceptance by society at large;
  • to help mitigate some of these worries about post-op matters in the non-Asian countries such as UK or Sweden or Germany, most Trans women under medical supervision have to under “real-life” experience for at least 1 year. That is, they must live in their preferred gender for at least 1, maybe 2, years, before they are authorized to have gender confirmation surgery. This gives them more time to see the advantages and disadvantages of living as female full-time. In Thailand or The Philippines, however, there is no such requirement. Ladyboys (as Trans-women are being called in the Asian World) and Trans-pinay simply have to adapt and get through the tough times;

Having the final operation is a big decision for any Transgender woman

  • the decision to have their penis removed is a very personal decision for each and every Transgender person. The T-girl may like or hate her penis. She may not have it removed for spiritual or reason of belief or cost. She may like men or still prefer women as bed partners. Or, with regular hormone intake, the Trans woman’s penis may be flaccid and she unable to get an erection—and so it becomes redundant to her;
  • the operation itself firstly involves the removal of the testicles. The insides of the penis are then removed and the outer skin inverted to make the lining of a vagina. One of the key advantages of this method is that a high degree of sensitivity is retained in the new vagina. Most Trans women can reach a climax and enjoy an orgasm (or two or more) and climax after their vagina has fully healed. It’s often said that Transgender women generally have a higher and longer-lasting sex drive than genetic women and this is reported as being true for pre-op and post-op women. It may be something to do with the levels of testosterone still in their bodies but there is no definitive answer on this point;
  • as the new vagina is healing it is necessary for Trans women to regularly dilate. This is to help ensure the body’s natural healing process does not close the newly formed cavity. Dilation with different sizes of dilators is necessary for the first 2 or 3months post-op. However, ongoing cleaning and maintenance is a lifetime commitment, as is the end to continue with female hormones, although the dosages may drop

In actuality, having and recovering from gender confirmation surgery is not the end of the journey for Transgender women. In some ways, it is just the beginning and once they are “complete”, they have the rest of their lives ahead of them.

Most of the T-girls on MyTransgenderCupid will tell you the same thing. They have no choice in the matter. Living as a female is just what they have to do: pre-op or post-op!

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