I’ve had so many replies to my inbox about my profile that I’ve almost lost count. Some really lovely men have replied to me and we’ve engaged in some great conversations. There are a few men who really appeal and I think could be the sort of man I might well have a long-term relationship with. The only real issue for me is that I always promised myself that, until I had gender confirmation surgery, I would not date. As I write this, I’m just a week away from my surgery and can hardly wait. After all, I have been waiting for 22 years (since I the day I was born) for such a date.
Why then, you might ask, did you join MyTransgenderCupid before you were really ready to date? Well, let me explain a little.
Transgender women in small towns
My name is Samantha and I live a fairly small town in the centre of England. Finding a man locally who wants to date a Trans woman will be almost impossible. The town is just too small and many people know each other—and all of their supposedly private business. You also have some small-town prejudices and gossip to contend with. So, the pragmatist in me knows that when I find a man able to accept a Transgender woman as his girlfriend, he will probably live in London or Birmingham or Manchester. These are just three of the larger cities in the UK. Such cities are much more diverse and the populations generally more tolerant of people who are different. Manchester, for example, is the so-called capital of gay-life in the UK and London is, well, just London, where almost anything goes!
I also wanted to join MyTransgenderCupid now so that I can really get to know the man I eventually will arrange to meet in person. It’s a bit like “regular dating” used to be in the not too distant past. Then, a boy would meet a girl and they’d get to know each other, learn about each other’s likes and dislikes, their hobbies and interests. Find out about each other’s personalities and what makes the happy, what makes them sad. And how it would if they were in a long-term relationship, how would they manage and are they really right for each other? Oh…, and of course, all this before jumping into bed with one another and putting sex to the forefront of their relationship.
Relationships with Transgender women
In my opinion, relationships are no different between a Transgender woman and a man and a genetic woman and a man. Sure, we T-girls might have an extra body part at birth and don’t have natural breasts but, hey, that’s why we have corrective surgeries. Believe me, we are women in all other aspects, especially emotionally!
One major difference for most Trans girls dating is that we like to do this initially from behind a keyboard. It’s much better than hanging around clubs and bars and the like hoping to meet a nice, genuine man. Meeting in such places is also more of a problem, as I said, when you live in a small town and there really are no places to go where you can be anonymous!
Dating from home also makes me feel more secure. In reality this is because you have no idea how a man you meet in public will react once he finds out you are Trans. Some of my friends have been shouted at, verbally abused and one or two punched or worse. All for simply telling a man she has recently met that she is Transgender. One of the really great things about Trans dating sites is that all the men on them know we are T-girls. So, no room for any misunderstanding there.
And finally, the other reason I like to talk to men and get to know them well even before I am ready to date is to try to sift out the fetishists from men who genuinely love Trans women. Not that there is anything wrong with fetishists, but they are not quite the type of man I’m looking for. Fetishes about T-girls can come in many forms. There are the men who objectivise Transgender women and see them as “exotic” or a “challenge”. Men who are looking to try a “chick with a dick” to see what it’s like. Or men who enjoy anal sex (recipient or giver) but say they don’t identify as gay.
Goals of a T-girl
I know that when I have had my final confirmation surgery and have a vagina, I will be all woman. I want a man who can recognize me and love me for this. I will give him love back and make sure he is happy. By this I mean mentally and physically.
I have a good degree from a good University so can provide mental stimulus as required. Plus, I must admit, am longing to have sexual relations with the man I love, to give him (and me) the physical stimulus we all need!
So, if you see my profile on the TS Dating site MyTransgenderCupid get in touch, I’d love to chat….