Attraction to a trans woman does not automatically make a man gay or bisexual. Listen to how people describe themselves, and make room for the person you are getting to know.
A straight man dating a trans woman is not a contradiction
A straight man dating a trans woman is a man dating a woman. Gender identity and sexual orientation describe different things: a person's gender is not the same as who they are attracted to.
That distinction can help if you have heard confusing claims from friends or online conversations. You do not need to treat a woman's identity as an exception you have to explain away before you can enjoy her company.
Attraction to a trans woman does not decide your label for you
Attraction to a trans woman does not decide a man's label for him. Some men who date trans women describe themselves as straight; others use different words. A relationship is not a test that gives another person permission to rename you.
If the attraction feels new to you, there is room to think about it without making the woman you are dating responsible for answering every question. Learn what you want to understand, and let your time together include her interests, humour and hopes as well as your own reflections.
You are allowed to notice a connection before you know how to explain every feeling around it.
Dating a trans woman means getting to know an individual
Dating a trans woman means getting to know an individual, with her own preferences and reasons for dating. She might love affectionate messages, prefer a slower beginning or want something different from you. Those are things to discover through a conversation.
Begin with what she chose to share in her profile. You can be interested without asking for private medical details or treating her life as a lesson. An introduction feels different when there is room for both people to be curious about ordinary things.
I have never dated a trans woman. Explain everything to me.
You mentioned enjoying live music. What was the last performance you really loved?
Make room for your relationship without making it a spectacle
Making room for a relationship can involve thinking about friends, family and how you want to spend time together. Talk with your partner about what feels comfortable before you assume she wants an announcement or a particular kind of introduction.
You can be happy to be with someone while respecting her privacy. Her being trans is not information you need to share with other people without her agreement. Discuss what each of you needs from the relationship, rather than leaving the subject to guesswork.
A thoughtful introduction on MyTransgenderCupid
A thoughtful introduction on MyTransgenderCupid can start with a simple interest in a particular woman. Read her profile, offer a little of your own story and see whether you both enjoy continuing the exchange.
There is no special performance you need to put on. Be clear about what you want, listen to her answers and let a first conversation be a beginning. You may discover a connection worth exploring, one ordinary detail at a time.
Before you go
A few questions
Does dating a trans woman automatically mean a man is gay?
No. A trans woman is a woman. A man who is attracted to women may be attracted to her; people choose the orientation labels that describe their own experience.
Can I ask a woman how she identifies?
Use the terms she shares and follow her lead. A conversation can include how you each describe yourselves, but she does not owe a new acquaintance private information or an explanation of her body.
A little more yourself.
A little more open to what comes next.
